What a healthy relationship looks like
In a world where drama dominates our screens and dysfunction gets romanticized, it’s no wonder people are asking: How do I even know what a healthy relationship looks like?
That question isn’t just a Google search. It’s the cry of a heart that’s tired of confusion and ready for clarity.
So let’s talk about it.
Why We’re Confused About Healthy Relationships
Toxic relationships are everywhere—on TV, in movies, in the scroll of social media. They’re packaged as passionate, exciting, even desirable. But behind the glamorized chaos is real-life damage: drained hearts, wounded souls, and worn-out minds.
And here’s something wild—while researching this blog, I found that people actually search for “why do healthy relationships feel boring?” That’s how twisted the narrative has become.
The truth is, healthy relationships aren’t boring. They’re just unfamiliar to those used to walking on eggshells.
Let’s break the cycle by learning what a healthy relationship actually looks like.
Start with the Relationship You Have with You
Before you can recognize a healthy relationship with someone else, you’ve got to check in with the relationship you have with yourself.
Ask yourself:
Do I believe I’m worth loving?
Am I kind to myself in my thoughts and words?
What do I value most?
What are my dreams and goals?
If those questions stir up pain or confusion, you may need healing in some areas. That’s okay. Healing is not only possible—it’s a choice you get to make. Whether through therapy, wise counsel, prayer, or support groups, healing is the foundation of healthy relationships.
How to Know What a Healthy Relationship Looks Like (For Real)
Let’s get to the heart of it. A healthy relationship will:
Be patient and kind
Show mutual respect and support
Set and honor healthy boundaries
Avoid emotional, physical, or verbal abuse
Rejoice in each other’s growth
Forgive rather than keep score
Stay committed through ups and downs
Encourage and empower you
Stay confidential and trustworthy
Honor rather than humiliate
Sound familiar? That’s because this kind of love is modeled by Jesus and in Scripture—specifically 1 Corinthians 13:4–6. It’s often called the “Love Chapter,” but it’s also a roadmap for what love should look like in our lives.
Red Flags: What A Healthy Relationship Doesn’t Look Like
Let’s not sugarcoat it. If your relationship includes these red flags, it may not be healthy:
Frequent anger outbursts or violence
Controlling or manipulative behavior
Jealousy masked as “passion”
Guilt trips and gaslighting
Lack of support for your goals or identity
Disrespecting boundaries
Keeping score or punishing past mistakes
Love should never leave you feeling small, unsafe, or unsure of your worth.
From Theory to Testimony
I’ve been married for 24 years. That doesn’t mean it’s been easy—but it’s been rooted in something greater than our flaws. Faith, forgiveness, and a shared commitment to grow in Jesus have sustained us through valleys and victories. Our healthy relationship wasn’t built overnight—it was built with intention.
So when I say healthy relationships are worth it, I speak from experience.
Healthy relationships are far from being boring. Healthy relationships bring joy, happiness, comfort, lowers stress, enhances your quality of life and affects the environment for the better.
A Final Word to Your Heart
If you’re still wondering how to know what a healthy relationship looks like, start here:
You have value. You matter. You are worth loving well.
Healthy love doesn’t drain—it restores. It doesn’t confuse—it clarifies. It doesn’t break you down—it builds you up.
And it begins with believing that the love you long for isn’t a fantasy. It’s possible. And it can start today—with you.
Get more truth about healthy relationships with my new book launching soon: Your Heart’s Desires: A look at love, sex, grace, forgiveness and acceptance. Get on the waitlist to know when it launches.
Love ya,
Christina
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